In October of 2011, I hunkered down with the troops at George Washington’s Valley Forge winter encampment. The bunkers were small and crowded but formidable and warm enough to keep us safe from frostbite.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

Rather then the appropriate uniform and rations generally required to survive the harsh climate, all I had with me was my Canon 60D (A photographic contraption from the future/past, gifted to me by some strange doctor). However, one of the soldiers was kind enough to let me shoot him while he shot his musket.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

It was quite loud and impressive, but if I am not mistaken, he had a bit too much to drink that day and accidentally planted his little musket ball directly into good ol’ G.W.’s left butt cheek.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

As evening turned to night and the medic patched George’s wound, we looked out past the horizon only to discover an infantry of enemy combatants descending upon our location.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

Washington quickly called us to arms, and the “Battle that Never Happened” quickly commenced. I accompanied some of the other men down to our first defensive position. Our orders were to “Set up a canon by the big tree”.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

We fired artillery until the last bits of enemy were laid to waste and our ammunition was depleted. Shell after shell was launched and the fields were covered with the mangled remains of a once powerful British invading force.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

As the harsh winter climate continued to beat our spirits into the earth, a snow crusted blanket draped itself across that nightmarish field of gore. I am thankful that the General did not command us to collect the dead Brit husks, as I am sure the black death would have seeped into my hands and feet and I would no longer be able to capture these images for you.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

A few days later (I think)…

My perception of time has been obliterated, I have lost my ability to comprehend how long we have been here. This never-ending whiteout is choking the last bit of breath from every soldier in the company. The blackness has finally invaded my feet and three little piggies fell off, I fear the worst has yet to come.

Photo by Brian A. Bernhard, 2011

The end is near. I can no longer remember who I once was. My only wish is that these images bring you some instance of joy.

Love,
Brian A. Bernhard

The wizard has been preempted, stay tuned for an urgent broadcast from the Blight Productions News Network!!!

The great & powerful wizard Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING! He has decided to use his amazing gifts to help rid the world of the infectious disease know as “The Stupid”. Every Wednesday he will post a new video with instructions on how to a little less stupid. Whether you need to know the answers to your upcoming math test or how to break up with that pesky significant other, with the aid of his magical crystal ball, Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING!

People say, “He is 100 times better then a dime store magic 8 ball!”

All you must do to receive aid from this amazing wizard is to leave a question about something in the comments section of this video.

To experience more of the great wizard Kumberbuns, please visit: http://wp.me/PJ4b7-o9

Be sure to subscribe to the Blight Productions YouTube channel so that you may begin your journey to become a little less stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/blightproductions
http://www.blightproductions
http://www.twitter.com/blighttheclown1

Barry Mitchell Interviews “The Nerdist” Chris Hardwick for ABC World News Now!!

Nerdist Part 2 “The Outtakes”

Look folks, I got my nerd on with the Nerdist!

A few weeks ago, Al was traveling through New York on his “Alpocalypse” tour. Barry put on his producer cap, got in touch with Al’s manager and arranged to make this magical duet happen. Knowing that I was a HUGE fan of AL’s he asked me to be the videographer! Below is the resulting videos that we made.

The “Weird Al” ABC Promos

The “Weird Al” ABC Interview

The “Weird Al” ABC Polka!

Brian, Al and Anne (Proof that this really happened)!

All I can say is that sharing the stage for 45 minutes with Weird Al Yankovic was one of the most amazing moments of my life, and I have my great friend Barry Mitchell to that for it. The first cassette tape I ever purchased was Weird Al’s “Polka Party” and I have collected everything he has made from that point on. His work has always just resonated with me. When I was in elementary school, I lip synced to his songs at the talent show and I played his music on my boom box in the back of the school bus. The best part of this entire experience was that upon meeting Al in person, I instantly understood how he became as popular and beloved around the world as he has. He really and truly is one of the nicest guys I have ever met.

This is the first part of a playlist style show. Please click here to start the show!
http://tinyurl.com/6dkh4md
________________________________________
THE PLAYLIST:
01: http://tinyurl.com/5uxyl6x
02: http://tinyurl.com/63dowmr
— Commercial Break: http://tinyurl.com/6bmdqnq
03: http://tinyurl.com/6zfb6x7
— @Blargaldalien: http://tinyurl.com/5vfabsr
04: http://tinyurl.com/6dlsmcp
— Happy Meal: http://tinyurl.com/6dvfwn7
05: http://tinyurl.com/6bjtkxa
— Five Minutes Earlier: http://tinyurl.com/5vs68qn
06: http://tinyurl.com/3by6mrp
— How Ghostbusters Should Have Ended: http://tinyurl.com/3gr2hge
07: http://tinyurl.com/3f6emr8
________________________________________
Thanks to:

Blargaldalien
Angeluscaligo
& ChvadSB

for your stupid questions.

The great & powerful wizard Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING! He has decided to use his amazing gifts to help rid the world of the infectious disease know as “The Stupid”. Every Wednesday he will post a new video with instructions on how to a little less stupid. Whether you need to know the answers to your upcoming math test or how to break up with that pesky significant other, with the aid of his magical crystal ball, Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING!

People say, “He is 100 times better then a dime store magic 8 ball!”

All you must do to receive aid from this amazing wizard is to leave a question about something in the comments section of this video.

To experience more of the great wizard Kumberbuns, please visit: http://wp.me/PJ4b7-o9

Be sure to subscribe to the Blight Productions YouTube channel so that you may begin your journey to become a little less stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/blightproductions
http://www.blightproductions
http://www.twitter.com/blighttheclown1

Episode 04

Thanks to:

TheReceptionist
Jerboshow
& AnneButtPickles

for your stupid questions.

The great & powerful wizard Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING! He has decided to use his amazing gifts to help rid the world of the infectious disease know as “The Stupid”. Every Wednesday he will post a new video with instructions on how to a little less stupid. Whether you need to know the answers to your upcoming math test or how to break up with that pesky significant other, with the aid of his magical crystal ball, Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING!

People say, “He is 100 times better then a dime store magic 8 ball!”

All you must do to receive aid from this amazing wizard is to leave a question about something in the comments section of this video.

To experience more of the great wizard Kumberbuns, please visit: http://wp.me/PJ4b7-o9

Be sure to subscribe to the Blight Productions YouTube channel so that you may begin your journey to become a little less stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/blightproductions
http://www.blightproductions
http://www.twitter.com/blighttheclown1

DAY 1

Friday evening, I had no gear. I didn’t bring my camera, because I ran to the Con after I got off of work to meet with my girlfriend and her father. I walked from 5th avenue to the Hudson River because there was no convenient transport other then a traffic blocked cross-town bus (of which I had no interest in). When I arrived to the center, there was a steady flow of people going in and out of the doors, like something akin to an over-sized heart-attack-ready blood vessel.

Jake is greeting all the Comic Con folks as they enter the Javits Center

My goal for Friday was to see an Image Comics panel featuring Robert Kirkman, Rob Liefeld and a myriad of other Image artists and writers discussing what was promoted to be a panel about “Creator Owned” comics; but what turned out to be a promotional status update for new “soon-to-be-released” projects from Image Comics. I was hoping to get a little bit of advice from some amazing artists and writers, but I was berated with a series of name drops, pats on the back, and project plugs. Although, they did pass out a little sample comic featuring some of the new stuff they were plugging. Which unfortunately prompted what can only be described as a “real life Internet troll” to approach the microphone only to ask why the cover artist for the sample comic had not researched swords thoroughly enough to properly depict them in the art. The kid was open about the fact that he had no idea what Image Comics was or who the panelists were, but he lacked the social graces to NOT go up to the mic and vomit meaningless negative garbage words from his mouth hole. It was as if he had no idea that he was no longer an anonymous user name on the Internet.

After the Image comics panel, I decided to walk the congested showroom floor before I left the event in favor of some standup comedy with Nerdist Industries. All I can say is that Chris Hardwick, Matt Mira, and Jonah Ray, are some funny ass mother truckers! The night of nerdy comedy was the perfect end to the first day of Comic Con 2011.

The Nerdist Podcast @ The Gramercy Theater in NYC.

DAY 2

The first thing we did on Saturday morning was hustle over to the Roman Dirge panel.

Roman Dirge is in the center.

The Lenore comic was one of the first books to peak my interest and bring me back into the world of comic’s after I had abandoned it in my late high school years. Roman was a very interesting speaker, it seems that there will be some cool Lenore adventures in the near future.

A fantastic Lenore costume.

After a nice dose of Lenore, I continued on to the “Attack the Block” panel. “Attack the Block” was the best movie I have seen all year, with brilliant direction and an amazing cast.

(From right to left) Director - Joe Cornish, Actor(Moses) - John Boyega, and Actor(Brewis) - Luke Treadaway (Note, big head at the lower left is a random audience member)

The lead actor – John Boyega (Moses), the director – Joe Cornish, and one of the supporting cast – Luke Treadaway (Brewis) were in attendance.  All three came across as very personable and relatively friendly. However, the one take away I got from this panel, is a testament to the brilliant direction of Cornish and the amazing performance from Boyega. Moses, in the movie was a badass. He was bigger, meaner and tougher then all the other kids.

John Boyega signing my "Attack the Block" poster.

In real life, Boyega is just a regular little kid (Adorned with superhero t-shirt and other teenage accoutrements). The magic of incredible fiction film making is to create an alternate universe where anything is possible, and “Attack the Block” did that perfectly by taking this otherwise normal teenager and turning him into an ass-kicking-badass-alien-fighting-machine.

The next adventure on my check list was to sit in on the “BONE” retrospective featuring the creator of the book Jeff Smith. However, the “BONE” panel was not for a few hours so I had a little time to walk the floor and take in the sights.

Blank Man!!!

Gambit

Maybe a character from the game "Fallout" (I am not sure please correct me if I am wrong).

A detail of the Fallout guy.

Some strange video game like thing.

An odd assortment of elves, vampires, and maids.

There was even some fancy new group dancing game on display.

The floor was exhausting, like a confused river not knowing which way it was trying to flow. We had to push, shove, poke, pop, and yank our way through the relentless unforgiving crowd of costume clad, sweaty nerds, artists, writers, photographers and merchants.  I snapped as many pictures as I could, but I was not interested in the competitive battle each photographer had going on in order to get the best image. Each time I wanted to take a picture, I had to make an attempt to compose an interesting shot, as well as, get the cosplayer’s attention so they would give me their best action pose. Unfortunately, every time I set up a picture, we would dam up the river of people and the mob would begin to get restless. I was able to snap a few more costumed pics before heading over to the “BONE” panel.

I think it's "Two Face" and "Poison Ivy". I believe "Poison Ivy" was the most popular costume at the con this year.

This is not a person in a costume, this is a real robot. Constructed to put and end to organic lifeforms.

This baron is doing a fine job promoting his new book.

Darkwing Duck and Friends!

Another elf.

Our friendly elf showing off his big sword.

A big creepy fat green gummy bear.

The big creepy fat gummy bear will eat your face off!

Finally, it was time for some “BONE” action with Jeff Smith! The panel was great, he seemed like a really friendly smart guy and he shared a bit of drama he had while trying to develop the animated version of the story.

BONE

It was interesting to hear them talk about the new “BONE” novels that Tom Sniegoski has been writing. I am excited to see what direction he is taking the characters.

Jeff Smith is second from the left and Tom Snegoski is sitting to the right of Mr. Smith.

Jeff Smith (The Creator of BONE)

After our “BONE” adventure, my wonderfully patient companions were starving, so off to get food we went. I journeyed over to the food court area, where I discovered each line to get any kind of food was a minimum half hour wait. This sucked, but I did my duty, stuffed my face fill of BBQ and headed back into the wilds of the Con.

We finished lunch, walked across the showroom floor and decided to head over to the IGN theater with enough time to line up for the “Walking Dead” panel about an hour early. However, when we arrived I discovered that the big ass theater was already full and no one else was allowed in. More then a little bit irritated we decided to walk the floor a tiny bit more. By the time we were able to push our way to the other side of the floor, it was already dinner time. No one was interested in waiting in half hour long lines for shitty food, so we decided to head out to 10th avenue and look for something a little bit better. On the way out of the Javits Center, I snapped a few more pictures of those crazy costumed crusaders.

Kick-Ass & Hit Girl!

An orange storm trooper???

An orange storm trooper about to get jumped by an unmasked Spiderman.

The only Captain America at the Con that actually looked like he could kick someones ass.

American "Sailor Moon" interviewed by Asian "Bat Girl".

Peace out "Sailor Moon".

These Ghostbusters kind of kicked ass.

How in the world did the universe find this many people to cosplay as the cast of the 80's science fiction series "V"

Fully refreshed from dinner we bee lined for the MTV theater in order to line up for the Mike Judge presentation. We arrived about 45 minutes early, and the line was already completely stupid. We got in line and waited. Once they opened the doors, the line diminished by about one third just before they announced that the theater was full an no one else was allowed in. We quickly scrambled over to the “Zombie Apocalypse” panel. As we walked up to the door the lovely attendant politely told us there was no more room in this theater as well. By this time, I was more then a little pissed and no longer in the mood to take any more pictures (sorry).

There was only one more panel left in the day that we were interested in going to see, it was about two hours away, but taking a hint from the last two disasters, we walked over to the designated panel room, and lined up to see the last show of the night (there was already about 10 people in line). Finally, after an eternity, we were let in to see the discussion panel for the comedy documentary concert film “Tell Your Friends“. It was a great discussion, with great comedians, who graciously allowed us to end our Saturday on a positive note.

DAY 3

I had 3 goals on day three; I wanted to see the “Robert Kirkman Spotlight”, the Jim Henson retrospective, and buy some cool artwork from some of my favorite artists. The day started well, we lined up in time to see the Kirkman Spotlight with no trouble at all. It was great, except for the socially awkward kid that decided to spoil the end of the popular television series “Breaking Bad” by asking Kirkman what he thought of the way it ended (along with a vivid description of what happened in the episode). The audience responded with a huge “BOO”, Kirkman quickly accessed his magical superpowers of narrative web spinning, where he twisted and weaved a story so completely insane, most of the audience quickly forgot about the “spoiler” kid, just because they made an attempt to try and follow Kirkman’s intentionally crazy narrative. It was a truly amazing spectacle to behold and a wonderful moment with an amazing story teller. However, for me, the best part of Kirkman’s story did not come during the panel or the Q&A, it came just after, when we were all walking out of the theater. As I walked out, distracted by the people around me, I looked up, and just avoided bumping into Mr. Kirkman, at that very moment, the “spoiler” kid came lumbering over to ask for an autograph. Immediately, like the gut reaction of a well trained parent, Kirkman began to both politely chastise the kid for spoiling the ending of “Breaking Bad” , then clearly and warmly explained to the kid why exactly spoiling the ending for the audience was a bad thing to do. He then signed the kids comic and went on about his business.

Immediately after this moment I ran into Voltron!

Voltron and Tiny Captain America team up to smash bad guys!

With the Jim Henson event over two and a half hours away, we decided to see if we could buy some artwork from both Ben Templesmith and Tony Moore. After the long trek through “Artist Alley” we picked up some amazing artwork. However, we only got back to the Jim Henson event about an hour early and by that time the attendants had already cut off the line and told us that we would not be able to get in. Such is the life at Comic Con. So we turned around and headed back out onto the showroom floor to look at more new comics and spend more money on crazy pop-culture thing-a-ma-bobs, until they closed the floor and kicked us out.

And then I found a gigantic transformer!!!

Nightmare Mansion in the Neptune Festival Parade 2011 from BlightProductions on Vimeo.

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(73 Photos)

If you want to find out more about “Nightmare Mansion” please visit: http://www.youwillscream.com

The first video is from the “Danger Party”, which I believe was hosted by “3rd Ward” in Brooklyn.  It is a pretty awesome artist community/studio off of Morgan Avenue in Brooklyn, NY. Way back in October 2010, the promoters of the “Danger Party” asked my friends Zery Boy and Gaylen Hamilton to bring the wonderful Emperor Satan’s Roco-Coach to their party. The “Danger Party” consisted of about 4 large warehouse venues in the East Williamsburg area of Brooklyn. They tasked the coach to traverse between each venue escorting party goers and encouraging more people to flow from building to building. This event happened the Saturday night just before Halloween. The video below documents the action.

Emperor Satan @ The Danger Party OCT 2010 from BlightProductions on Vimeo.

This second video, documents the coach’s adventures on Halloween Day, beginning with a little performance on the street in front of the “Theater for the New City”, continuing on into the actual NYC Halloween Day Parade, and concluding with the adventure back to the theater cutting through Union Square.

Emperor Satan on Halloween Day OCT 2010 from BlightProductions on Vimeo.

For more information about this fantastic coach and parade spectacle please contact Zero Boy through his website: http://www.zeroboy.com/ or contact the good folks at the Madagascar Institute here: http://madagascarinstitute.com/

The Receptionist: http://www.youtube.com/TheReceptionist

The U.K. “L.F.O.” song “Freak”: http://youtu.be/3og0oFiDO3U
The U.S.A. “L.F.O.” song “Summer Girls”: http://youtu.be/r1dfEf1qOt4

Thanks to:

Angeluscaligo
ChvadSB
& Jerboshow

for your stupid questions.

The great & powerful wizard Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING! He has decided to use his amazing gifts to help rid the world of the infectious disease know as “The Stupid”. Every Wednesday he will post a new video with instructions on how to a little less stupid. Whether you need to know the answers to your upcoming math test or how to break up with that pesky significant other, with the aid of his magical crystal ball, Phineas J. Kumberbuns knows EVERYTHING!

People say, “He is 100 times better then a dime store magic 8 ball!”

All you must do to receive aid from this amazing wizard is to leave a question about something in the comments section of this video.